My Name Is
by spaceylacey
Summary: Hermione goes crazy. Ron does something. This is really strange. Not based on the song! Just read, be curious. Please!
1. In the home

I don't own any of this, except maybe the plot. Tis a shame I don't get paid for it though. Whatever, enough of that. I think that I'm going to have just four chapters in this whole story. It's short, so sue me. Whatever, I don't care, as long as I get at least _one_ review.

"My name is Hermione Granger, and I am obsessed with Harry Potter."

"Hi, Hermione," the people around me chorused back.

Then the leader spoke. "So, Hermione, do you know exactly why you're obsessed with this particular person?"

I shuddered, her voice was soft and annoying. So, I gave her a strange look, and replied, "I don't think that's any of your business."

She spoke again. Yay. "Now, Hermione. You're here for a reason. I'm trying to help you realize your problem, so that you can go back into the world and try to straighten out your life."

You know what, I don't like this woman. "So? What if I don't want to tell you my problem? It's not like this is any of your business what goes on in my mind. I mean, so what, big deal. Is it bad to think that a guy has way gorgeous eyes, a charming smile, great personality, and a firm tush?"

I roll my eyes, knowing full well what her answer will be. So, I drown it out. I start talking to the pink hippo. You see, the pink hippo only turns different colors when his mood changes. Like he's blue when he's depressed. Green when he's sad. Yellow when he's sick. The only time I don't like him is when he's red. It means he is either angry or his bowels stopped working.

Well, today, the hippo isn't pink, but he's yellow, so he's hibernating right now. So, again my thoughts take control over me. I'm lost in a sea of Harry Potter. Oh, those eyes. He's so gorgeous. I can't help it, I can feel drool starting to slide down my chin. 'Stop it, Hermione, get a hold of yourself.' It's too late. The waves are now whacking me on top of the head.

My thoughts drag me back to our sixth year. I was following Harry down the staircase, I don't know where he was headed. The staircase had started to move. I sighed as I watched him walk away. All that hard work for nothing. My knee gave out as I walked back up the steps. I stumbled and tumbled down the rest of the stairs. Groaning and getting up, I heard footsteps. I ran up the stairs, yet again, but this time minus the tripping.

As I ran up the hall that I was just in a few minutes ago, I saw someone else running ahead of me. I got an idea. Once again, I tripped, purposely. I let out a loud yelp of pain. The person ahead of me stopped. I was playing this very carefully. I started to act like I was crying. It was working. The person turned around and started walking toward me. Curiosity overcame me. I looked up, and into the eyes of Ronald Weasley.

**I know this is short, but it's got a point. It might be a little to weird for your taste, but it's different from what anybody else has written, I bet.**


	2. Ron's POV

Ron was also sitting in a circle of psycho people. (This is at the same time Hermione's talking to her hippo.) He had already introduced himself. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor in the middle of the "circle." The leader was trying to get his problem out in the open. But today, Ron didn't feel like sharing his problems. He felt it was an invasion of privacy. He knew that these dolts couldn't remember anything he said, but that didn't matter. The leader probably had installed some type of device in the room. She was going to use it against him. She would probably call someone like the National Enquirer, or Star Magazine. Even though they only had them in America, he still didn't want all of his business in the news.

Ron just sat there, for the entire session. When it ended, he left the room and started down the hallway. Looking at the pictures on the wall, he was suddenly reminded of when he had "stalked" Hermione in their 6th year…

**(This is Ron and Hermione daydreaming, but it's Ron's point of view, and after the part where she had fallen on purpose.)**

"Hermione? Are you okay?" I looked down at her.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine," she answered. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Oh, me? I was, uhh, umm, I was just looking. Looking for my shoelace," I bet she thought I was stupid. 'Goodness gracious, Ron, what is wrong with you? Shoelace? What the heck? Are you really that thick? She's got the highest marks in our year, she's not that stupid.'

She looked at my shoes, then back up at me. "Right."

'Okay, so she didn't fall for it. But I couldn't tell her that I was following her, she'd think I was psycho.' I thought to myself. "So, Hermione, are you finished with your homework yet? I was fixing to go to the common room and get my books."

"Okay, Ron. What's going on? There's something wrong with you." Hermione said in her 'I'm so brilliant I know everything voice.'

"N-nothing." I felt so stupid.

"I'm serious, you have never done you homework voluntarily. Tell me."

I just shook my head.

"Now."

I just looked at her like she was standing there in granny panties down to her ankles. I bet she really thought I was going crazy. Oh well, she'll never figure out what I was doing.

"Okay Ron, suit yourself. But, I'm here if you need anyone," she still looked suspicious, however.

"I know. Well, then, let's just go to the Great Hall." She nodded and followed me the rest of the way down the stairs.

"You know Ron, I think I'll just go the dormitory, I'm absolutely starved for some sleep."

"Oh, all right." I said

"Good night," as she said this, she stood up on her tiptoes, and she kissed me on the cheek. I'm sure I blushed the brightest red I'd ever blushed.

"Yeah, good night to you too." I looked down at her. She turned around with a smile, and she was off. I didn't know what to do. So, I just sat down on the floor, and started playing with my shoelaces.


End file.
